I got lost in work again

I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself.

I had such a good plans to keep my sanity and private life in order didn’t work out really.

Now with pre-opening of my latest project I barely sleep, don’t see my girlfriend at all. And motorcycle was abandoned long time ago.

Will see how it goes. If I won’t manage to sort myself out with this project by end of next week – reevaluation of priorities will be a must.

What a week…….. I better stop and have a glass of wine.

I am so happy it’s finally Sunday……

It was one of most difficult work weeks I had in years. Extramely intense and with ton of preasure.

Hotel is getting more and more busy with now having over 400 people in house, no experianced staff, 2 outlets operating to the limits and no one really to help it got its toe on me.

On top of that preparation for opening new franchise outlet reached its creatical phase and preasure just keeps mounting up. This week I dicovered that way kitchen is build is actuall very different from how it was designed and I’m not sure yet how are we gonna work around it.

But my biggest worry is that We are still missing a lot of contaiers with decorations, scenery, equipment. A lot is still missing and with arrival dates very, very close to the date when instalation team was suppose to get here.

Customs are not helping out either. Almost every container is stuck for days before they get their heads around what it contains and release it. I’m hoping we will manage to get it all together somehow.

Worst thing is that there is no one to help. Company is still working on Minimum teams. everyone is doing job of 2 or 3 people, recruitment is dissaster not only because there is no people but as well because HR is simply overloaded and she’s not managing at all.

In the middle of this I had my first COVID Vaccine shot and I lost almost 2 full days. First right after vaccine I felt sick and on a second day It was impossible to focus on anything. Exrtramely weird. Never felt like this.

At least uesterday I’ve managed to catch up finally a bit on a office work. Created few new procedures, wrote down SOP’s, maybe this week I can start focusing on trainign my supervisors. That will be a good change.

It will be a tough summer. that’s for sure. Still considering that 6 weeks ago I had only 2 staff memebers, no procedures, no one who understands F&B, no equipment and no plan – I wthink I’ve managed well.

Today’s Writing feels a bit like complate mess.
I better stop and get a glass of wine …….

My Old / New Hobby….

Most of my life I was never really passionate about anything. I watched other people getting hyped about sports, different activities, books, video games……etc. And me. ….. nothing. nothing really excited me to the point of obsesion oe even for longer than a day or two.
Yes. I use to like certain things. I still do. but I would never call neither of them a passion.

Now beeing in my late 30s and still not having any real passion I start to wonder… Is it me? or just world around me is just not exciting enough anf I simply haven’t came across my passion yet?.

Contemplating all of this I decided to try something.
I always liked to travel. So I got myself a new / old motrcycle and started driving around the island πŸ™‚

In the meantime I started learning how to make you tube videos.

My plan is very simple.

  1. re-learn how to ride a motorcycle
  2. learn how to prepare for a long trip
  3. buy a new motorcycle πŸ™‚
  4. Plan a trip accross Europe
  5. Go on a trip across Europe πŸ™‚

WIll see If I can make it and If I can find something which I will be passionate about.

I will call them trips of self discovery.

Royal Enfield Himallayan is my motorcycle of choice for this trip.
I will explain why in one of next posts.

Now I’m driving this Suzuki GS500 πŸ™‚

My Latest Trip πŸ™‚

Any way. This seems to be something which bring me most joy recently. Will see what comes out of it πŸ™‚

Getting my work priorities right….

My wife got angry with me yesterday………. Like really angry. For something which I’ve never considered wrong or inappropriate. Now when I think about it I was wrong all a long, and it actually brought a work realisation a long the way.

Let me explain.

In all my previous jobs my main task was solving small issues. Constantly – and I mean constantly. Up to 30-40 issues a day. People would come to me or phone me with a problem and I would provide a solution. If not right there and then, within next 24hrs everything was sorted.
I had occasional bigger projects but those happened on occasion and rarely had proper time frame, and my on the spot problem solving never really interfered with long term outcome of bigger projects.

Until I changed jobs.

Now I’m in charge of two huge projects and I need to admit I’m struggling.
I was trying to figure it out for quite few weeks now why I constantly keep running out of time, my tasks and to do list keeps constantly growing and rarely shrinking to les than 15 items. I simply wasn’t able to keep up.

And than it hit me – actually my wife did πŸ™‚

We were out having ice cream. My job kept calling 3 time within one ice cream eating time resulting in my ice cream melting. I kept apologising to my wife each time I answered but on the third time and half of the ice cream melted later she snapped:

“Why you just won’t tell them: “If it’s not important I’ll deal with it later!!!!!” and there it was…….
Bright like a sun!!!! This is my issue.

After we finished arguing we spoke and analysed way I work.
It seems that every time something new comes up I automatically put it on top of the list for solving it right away. Exactly the same as I was doing it in the past 4 years – Wrong.

New job is different – every task is almost like a small project and need to be treated as such. Often needing analysis, delegating and multiple tasks along the way before completion.

I didn’t adapt properly to the new environment and work requirements resulting in near failure and lots and lots of unnecessary stress.

Worse thing is that I just couldn’t see it until my ice cream melted and my wife pointed it out to me.

Bottom line – it’s good to have second opinion. Even if it seems that opinion is completely irrelevant to your job, your views and your experiance.
You can still consider it and look for something to adapt to your current situation.

So from now on we have a new rule, me and wife that is.

when I answer work call when at home or during private time she will ask me later – was this important? what was it about?

I will not get frustrated and instead I will summarise the call to which she will give me her view and opinion if in her eyes this was important enough to spend 10-20 min on a call. or it could have been postponed for later.
I’m hoping that having her opinion on those things will help me re-organize my priorities.

Consider this – 20 min it’s a lot of time If I do something similar like above mentioned call 10 times a day I’m loosing 2hrs of productive time during the day. this way instead of working 10hrs I am working 12hrs.

That is huge difference.

Any way.

Let’s stop this here.

I’ll try to put it in motion and will see what happens……….

Getting lost in workload – again……

For some reason since I came back home I have not had time to write even a single word for the blog.

It’s not like I didn’t had any ideas. Just never found time. Or in better words – never made time.

I got lost in work so much that again I was very close to turning my life upside down. All because I don’t know how to put brakes on myself. To stop and leave things for later.

When I came back from all those uselessq uarantines I was so behind with work that I ended up doing 80hr weeks for 3 weeks in a row as a effect, and not that anybody forced me to. It was all my own choosing. Effects? yes I caught up at work but nearly lost my girlfriend in the process -AGAIN -however I need to admit that she was more undarstanfing this time than before.

And I cannot blame her. We didn’t see each other for near 8 weeks and what I do when I’m back. I dissapear again – this time for work. Which is even worse as I’m often stressed and agitated and not easy to talk to.

So from this week I made a hard choice. I need to work on managing my work time better:

  • Day off is a must – and it must be undisturbed,
  • Need to find people to whom I can delegate more, so I don’t have to do everything myself
  • Find a way to relax during work. some quick stress relief will be amazing.
  • Organize work topics much better – reviews at the end of day
  • Time management !!!!!!!!!
  • Try to talk to people and make friends at work – this should help.

WIll see how this is works out. I have not reached boiling point at work yet but I have a feeling it’s approaching fast.

And said that it’s time for me to go to work πŸ™‚ ………

Finally Home…

It so good to be back home. After 24 days on quarantine in 3 different hotels I finally was allowed to go home.
I was away for nearly 2 months, 8 weeks exactly.
And it felt weird to walk in back to the apartment. Like walking into someone elses apartment.
It took nearly a full day to relax a bit. My girlfriend still feels a bit off. Like she has to get use to my presence again.

But it was incredibly good to sleep in my own bed again. in the past 8 weeks I slept in 4 different beds and none can compare to my own :). Maybe it’s the whole package. Bed, room, noises around. It all felt very familiar and soothing.

Today I went out to check on my car and I couldn’t believe it.
Just look at this so durty. Looked like it was abandoned for years πŸ™‚ They had here quite few dirty rains bringing all the dust from Sahara desert.
I got it washed briefly but there is dust everywhere…. Good I don’t pay much attention to it. As long as it drives its good and fulfils it’s purpose πŸ™‚
All fluids were good and even tires held the preasure. Pleasently surprised. Not bad for a car which costed me less than the laptop I writing this blog on πŸ˜€

After the Car it was time for the motorcycle. That was a real pleasure πŸ™‚

It was parked under covers so It looked much better. Only some dust and dirt here and there but in generall nothing major.
I took it for a spin – It didn’t wan’t to start on me on the beginning.
Old carborated engine needed a little bit of encouregment. But it fired up in less than five tries.

It was really good to be back on the road. Even for 20minutes only.

I’ll better finish the day. Tomorrow first time at work since beginning of March. It might be a weird one. Will see how that goes ..

Will need to come with some good plan for whole week other wise I’ll get lost.

Till the next one. ……

What a rollercoaster ……

What a day. Honestly I would never imagine that day of almost not doing anything can be so mentaly hard on me.
For no reason today I went through almost all emotions.

Sadness, Anger, confussion, hapiness, energy spike and super low levels of energy. Today I expirianced it.

Very weird….. I haven’t felt like this in very long time. This quarantine – now day 22. is not working out for me. Not at all.

On a regular day, If I was allowed out i would manage all of those feeling in a hart beat. I would meditate, go to the gym, take a ride on my motorcycle… you name it. I have my ways of controling my emotions.

But beeing locked in this room, without most of my “tools” to control my emotions – let’s say this way – it puts me off balance by a lot. and I mean a lot.

On a bright side at least now I know how to identify my emotions and where they are coming from. It makes controling them much easier.

Today I’ve actually witness how contagious my emotions are. And how some people just soak all emotions projected on them.

Take my girlfriend for example. Today we spoke. on the beginnig her mood was very good. Cheerie and bright in one word – happy. After 15min of talking to meshe looked more depressed than me and we did ended up arguing.
I do now it was my emotions which she just soaked like a sponge which caused all this. It is a plus that I realize this now. What annoyed me was that she was not able to understand how difficult is to control myself while beeing locked in here.

But how can she understand. She doesn’t have 20 crazy monkies in here head like I do………..

20 crazy monkies are subject for another time…………

I actually miss people

It is weird. I never thought I will say that but I do miss people.
It has been now 20 days since I’m stuck in hotel rooms for differet types of quarantines. It feels like such a huge waste of time. But it did make me realize that I do miss interacting with people.
Working for past 15 years in hospitality I interact with people a lot. Especially last few years while working in the large resort, large banquets, restaurants catering for over 500 people a day – before COVID of course – at the end of each day and especially on days off I stayed away from people. Preffered quiet evening over night’s out.
Don’t get me wrong, I did enjoyed working with people, even that sometimes all you want is to strangle them because of their petty complaints and trivial problems πŸ™ˆ. But hey. That’s what hospitality is about. Making people libes slightly better.

Any way. coming back to the realization – yes – I do miss people a lot. in the past 20 days i spoke to friends and my girlfriend over the phone, video chat and messages. it’s all good and definately WAY much better than it must had been 30 years ago. But It’s not the same.

It is hard to pi point exactly what I miss about interacting with people, i think it’s just general presence of other humans around. When there is no one nearby, no one tot talk to, no one to spemd time with, exchange ideas and help me put my paranoia in check (when let loose it goes off the rails and I start inventing things :)) It gets weird.

For example this morning – While taking shower I came up with a plan how to move to another country, look for a new job, started counting if I have enough savings etc, etc … and all because there was a fuck up at work. Fuck up with something I wasn’t even employed to do but it is directly related to what I have to manage. So I already invented that my boss will blame this on me (he is a project leader and was responsible for it), I’l get fired and because I live on the tiny tiny island where everyone knows each other I’ll have to move because I won’t find another good job – and I have expenses πŸ™‚

Bottom line…………… You need other people to consult your crazy ideas with. Other wise they will drive you off the rails. simple.

And no. Facebook, WhatsUp, and talking to people on line doesn’t cut it for me.

Sharing emotions must be in person – especially when having paranoid thoughts ;πŸ˜‰

Stuck in the Room.

So I’ve been stuck in this hotel room for over a week now.
Right before this there was another hotel room for a week.
And It slowly starts getting to me I think. I’m an outside person and not beeing allowed to go out it’s driving me nuts.
On top of that I should be doing some work. You know all this remote work and so on…… but it is just not happening.
I find it so difficult. I think it’s because of the room. I have only bed and a small desk. Which makes my options to spend time are either on the bed or in an uncomfortable chair in front of mini desk. None of this places screems – work enviroment which makes it even more difficult to switch from “relax” to “work” mode.
Not beeing able to switch delays all the work I should be doing. (It’s really not that much – I plannned in advance for this three weeks plus with COVID – there is just not much work).
The worst thing is that this puts me in this constant limbo hanging beetwen work and relaxation and in the end non of it is done.
I think from tomorrow I mught just spend half a day watchin Big Bang Theory or readign “Dark Tower” until I’m in better mood. In the end its the weekend.

I wonder how the world outisde looks like πŸ™‚ and I miss my motorcycle. Few more days…. few more days.
Now the streets are super empty so ridding will be extra pleasurable.

I’ll better go. Till the next time…….
Maybe I cover some serious topic. Will see.

My First Spill…..

Honestly I have no clue where to start…..
This haven’t even been my idea.

Apparently putting my thoughts in writing somehwere should be therauputic. Yeah right. I don’t really belive in all that psycho mumbo jumbo. All I know is that I have tons of loud voices in my head and I’m not sure how to het them to agree on anything.

Friend of my suggested some time ago that I should start a journal. A notebook of my daily thoughts.
That spending 5min at the end of each day will help me organize my thoughts, put them in order and in right place.
I’m more of a keybord rather than pen user – so I thought – what the hell – I’ll start a BLOG.

I’ve read lots of books on how to improve myself, how to control my thughts, how not get overhelmed by emotions, how to, how to…………how to.
Don’t get me wrong, most of them – and I will share the links some day – are very smart and goos books, and they did help me a lot.
I used to be a one BIG mess of thoughts and emotions. with milion ideas coming and going every minute. Now – hmmmm. I sort of have it under control. – I guesss. I don’t know. Like everyone I think I have better and worse days.

So for today I’m just going to post this messy first post.

As you can see I’m not a writer πŸ™‚

It is more of type what you think staff …….

But it will be interresting to see how all of this and me evolves with thime.